Look How Far“When did it start?” How to keep the date, not just the event
One habit: start every note with the day it happened. And how to recover dates you have already forgotten.
A doctor, a teacher or the other parent asks: “When did it start?” You remember exactly what happened, but not when. “A month ago? Or early summer?” That is normal: memory keeps events, not dates.
One habit: start the note with the day it happened
We usually write things down later — in the evening, a couple of days on, sometimes a week later. So every note has two dates: when it happened and when you wrote it down. The first one is the one that matters.
Start the note with the day of the event: “Tuesday, 4 November, after nursery…”. If you are not sure, say so:
- “around the middle of October”;
- “a week after the move”;
- “in the first days after the holidays”.
Tying it to a clear event is better than no date at all. In six months “last week” will mean nothing, but “after the move” still will.
How to recover dates you have already forgotten
- Photos and videos on your phone. Every picture has a date. Often finding a photo from that day is enough.
- Messages from nursery or school. Notes from the teacher, announcements of parties and trips.
- Calendar and reminders. Appointments, trips, illnesses, visitors.
- The other adult. Ask what they remember: together you usually get closer.
Mark a recovered date as such: “date recovered from a photo”. Later you will know how far to trust it.
Example (a fictional family)
Written on 12 November. Happened: the night of 3 November, after the party at nursery. Woke up around three, settled by five. I think he was tired from the noise — but that is my guess.
Notice: “woke up around three” is what you saw. “I think he was tired from the noise” is an explanation. Keep them apart and mark guesses with “I think” or “maybe”. Then a month later you will not mistake your guess for a fact.
Where this is easy to do
Any note on your phone will do — as long as the date of the event comes first. We are building Look How Far, a shared diary for the two parents, where the day of the event is kept apart from the day of the note. Ask “when did it start?” and the assistant answers with dates and shows the notes the answer is based on. It is in a closed pilot on Android.
This note is about keeping records, not medical advice. Questions about health and treatment belong with a doctor.